Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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