I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize