Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
