Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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