I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
