Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
