When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
whose ass print is on the piano?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
