Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
