going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
