FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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