i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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