literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
