the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
