Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
