So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
