I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
