just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
