Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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