After last night, I could never be a politician.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
