So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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