Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
