AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
