she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
