You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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