so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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