me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
They took my balls.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
