i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize