If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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