If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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