the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This toilet bowl is my home.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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