He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
