his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
