im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
