I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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