I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize