your room smells of hookers.
And success
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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