we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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