just tell him i said nine months
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
