Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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