Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
