Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
