i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
