You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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