Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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