He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
