? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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