If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
