Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
