I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
