She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
