he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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