There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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