That's when you crack a 10am beer
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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