Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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