I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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