We won't sleep together?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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