Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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