Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
