I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
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