people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Your penis caused this!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
