and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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