so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
